Angst and Felixphobia

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Cat with Man, acrylic on paper, 500x700Cats. We have four kittens. No. Yesterday the red pussy was given to a woman with 13 children. Poor pussy.

When I went back to my studio in Portugal in 2001 or 2, to paint a series 'for my eyes only', the thought that I might have nothing there played on my mind. Nothing? Nothing to hide?
It was a challenge. How much can I bring up, up out of the caves of my subconsciousness. Like most people I have my fears and as I was working the symbol of my fears, it became real by painting cats.

A man. Was it me? Holding a cat by its neck, strangling it. A man holding a cat by its neck just holding it, raping it? A cat holding a man, was it me? in its arms. After the rape? Somebody thought the cat was a gender bender! The man looked very woody. Peter Meerman noticed this and made a gallery on 'cat obsessions' on the website he designed for me at http://paulbakker.eu/. Have a look!

Anyway, somehow I have moved on and now find myself totally obsessed by Trees. I have this image at the moment of a huge canvas with very dark green, sweaty and 'snaky' roots rooting their way through the dank, damp darkness. Not scary but more like exposing an inner something. Maybe sexual?

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Paul in front of 'Man with Cat'.I have, I think, a rather busy time next year. I will face the lack of money and start writing letters to Cultural Ministries and to God.'Cat with Man', acrylic on canvas. Our Prime Minister, The Hon Kevin Rudd, MP and the Mayoress of Cairns, The Right Worshipful Val Schier, like Kevin Rudd also a Labourite, have sent me nice 'thank you' letters for the booklets. I offered the 'Tree on Fire' to the new Cairns Regional Council and they accepted. So now the handing over.

But the Trees keep growing and I don't like the idea that I am internalizing too long. The roots will be coming out of my ears.

And the cats waiting at my toothbrush every morning......

My toothbrush is very jealous of my other brushes. In Portugal I made a video of my toothbrush, yep, Dento, and how his dream was to join the paint brushes 'upstairs'. So I took it on a trip, showing him my studio, the rooftop veranda with the castle looming up in the background. The poor toothbrush ended up back in a cup with my toothpaste and other toiletries in the downstairs bathroom. The paintbrushes thought he was a freak. Like toilet paper.

phb